Look for the Collateral Beauty this Holiday Season
We all know what collateral damage means—the people places and things that are unintentionally hurt or destroyed when something destructive happens. But Collateral Beauty is a horse of an entirely different color.
My stepdaughter, Meesha, suggested I watch the movie, Collateral Beauty, starring Will Smith, Edward Norton, Keira Knightley, Kate Winslet, and Helen Mirren. (She always suggests the best movies, music, and must-experience activities--which is why her Instagram handle is AskMeesh.)
It’s been years since I’ve seen a movie that touched my heart and soul so profoundly. I think it’s the perfect movie for the holidays—especially this year where there has been so much loss.
This year I lost my soul sister
Gypsy and I talked nearly every day since we met over 30 years ago (when we were two—ha ha). In the six months since she passed, there’s been tons of collateral beauty, so many beautiful synchronicities, dreams, and surprise God-winks. The collateral beauty doesn’t take away the devastation of the loss of her physical presence. Not even close. But that doesn’t mean that the collateral beauty can’t be discovered every day.
A few people asked me for the eulogy that I said for Gypsy at her memorial. I’ve attached it here if you’d like to see it for yourself (warning: some of it is irreverent and non-PC).
You don’t have to be Mary Sunshine or a Grateful Gus
I want to acknowledge Meesha for the way she finds collateral beauty every day as she grieves the death of her boyfriend, Gus. Yesterday it showed up in an email I forwarded her from my friend Wendy Capland, who’d just lost her mother. Wendy wrote, "You don’t have to be Mary Sunshine or a Grateful Gus all the time..." Besides the mention of Gus’s name, Wendy’s e-mail was gorgeous and profound.
Happy Holidays, sweetest dreams, and may you have a 2021 that more than makes up for 2020!
I hope that no matter what your losses have been this year you look for (and find) the collateral beauty that’s surrounding you…and that you leave none of it unacknowledged. I also hope you can feel my virtual hug wrapping around you as I look forward to the day where virtual becomes actual!
